Month: November 2025

Divorce Stress: Calming Techniques for Children

There are several calming techniques for children that you can use if your child is experiencing anxiety about your divorce. Or anxiety about anything else for that matter. Children can feel stressed out just like adults, but they often don’t know how to respond to deal with this stress. Parents can help by providing easy techniques for them to use to calm down, and practicing these with them so that they can perform them on their own when needed. Practice makes perfect! There are breathing techniques that can force the nervous system to calm down like snail roller coaster or hot cocoa breathing. They can also try something that forces their mind onto something else, like the name five things challenge. Finally, if they are having difficult sleeping, giving them something soothing like the imaginary castle game which can help put their mind at ease. Hopefully, you can practice these ideas with your child so that they can use them on their own whenever they feel anxious.

Divorce Stress: Calming Techniques for Children Who are Experiencing Anxiety

Snail Roller Coaster

Breathing exercises are some of the most helpful calming techniques for children who are experiencing any sort of acute stress or anxiety. Especially children who are prone to things like panic attacks or have difficulty controlling strong emotions. In the heat of the moment, using the snail roller coaster can help your child calm down. To do this, have them hold one hand out upright in front of them with fingers spread, like they’re about to face palm. Then, using the index finger of their other hand, pretend the finger is a snail riding a roller coaster that traces along their fingers going up and down between the fingers. At each hill, they should breathe in, and when the coaster goes downhill breathe out. 

Hot Cocoa Breathing

Another great thing you can add to the arsenal of calming techniques for children is hot cocoa breathing. To do this, have your child pretend that they’re holding a cup of hot chocolate. First, have them “stir the cup,” and then breathe in the smell of their cocoa taking a deep breath through their nose. Then, have them “cool down” the cocoa by breathing out cool air with their mouth shaped like it’s around a straw. Have them breathe in the cocoa and cool it down several times.

Name Five Things

Breathing exercises can help force your body’s sympathetic nervous system to calm down when you are feeling emotional. However, another helpful one of the calming techniques for children going through divorce is distraction. Sometimes, it’s helpful to force your mind to think of other things. Have your child hold out their hand and count on their fingers. For each finger, have them name something that they can hear, then taste, smell, feel, and see. 

Imaginary Castle

Finally, if your child is having difficulty sleeping because of divorce stress, there are some great techniques they can use for calming down before bed. One of these is to practice deep breathing or relaxing the muscles throughout their body. They can also “build” an imaginary empty castle in their mind. Have them go through and decide what each room in the castle looks like, what kind of furniture it has, what it smells like, and fill in as many details about their castle as possible. Hopefully, this can help your child get their mind off of something stressful and put it towards something soothing instead.

Divorce is stressful for everybody, and children feel that anxiety just as much as adults do. If your child is experiencing symptoms of anxiety or stress, finding them age-appropriate support is important. For example, books they can read, a peer counselor to talk to, or a childhood therapist. You can also employ many calming technique for children that they can use. Just make sure to practice them with your child when they aren’t stressed so that they know how to do them when the time comes. You can try breathing techniques like snail roller coaster or hot cocoa breathing. Or you can have them do something distracting like thinking of things around them that they can sense with the sight, smell, taste, hearing, and feel. Finally, help them fall asleep by encouraging them to imagine calming things like a castle that they can build in their mind. Hopefully, by employing some of these techniques, you can help your child navigate the emotional and stressful process of divorce.

Recovering Financially from the Holidays

Recovering financially from the holidays can take some time. From gifts, to going out with friends, or hosting parties, the holidays can be extremely expensive. And even if you planned out a budget, it’s easy to go a little overboard. It’s helpful to look back at your overall spending to get an idea of how you need to adjust your budget for next year’s holidays. Create a budget based on the money you have coming in and going out each month and stick to it. Finally, fix unhealthy spending habits and start focusing on things like paying off debt and reining in spending. Hopefully, you can reset and start focusing on saving so that next year’s holidays don’t put such a large dent in your wallet.

Recovering Financially from the Holidays: Getting Back on Budget

Look at the Overall Spending

One thing that can be extremely helpful when recovering financially from the holidays is looking at your overall spending. Make a list of how much you spent on things like gifts, cooking, hosting any events, holiday activities, decorations, and traveling expenses. Getting organized and figuring out exactly how much you spent can help you with creating a more realistic budget for next year.

Make Changes for Next Year 

Recovering financially from the holidays also means making a plan to not take such a financial hit next year. Once you see how much you spent on everything this year, go ahead and make yourself a budget for next year. Take that number and divide it by however many months between now and when you need the money again (usually November so that you can begin purchasing gifts). That will give you an idea of how much you need to set aside each month so that you have all of the money already saved by the time the holidays roll around again. You can also divide it up by paychecks between now and then.

Create a Budget

Figuring out your finances in genera is easier if you have a budget. To create one, begin by taking a look at all of the money you make each month. This can include revenue from any side gigs, your job, stocks, or any other money you have coming in. Then, look at the amount of money you typically spend in a month. Look at things like rent, utilities, restaurants, groceries, hanging out with friends, and childcare fees. Don’t forget those pesky subscription services either. Then, create a budget so that each dollar you make is assigned a job, whether that’s paying for some of your expenses, paying off debt, or going to savings.

Fix Bad Habits

Finally, recovering financially from the holidays means fixing some of those bad habits that are too easy to fall into when you are on vacation-mode. For example, ordering takeout or heading to restaurants for most meals. Make a grocery list and try to fix meals at home as much as possible. Additionally, try to rein in spending on frivolous things that you don’t need. Consider selling items that you no longer use, and shop second-hand whenever possible. Cut out as many expenses as possible, and make sure to stay on-time with payments. 

As we move through December and into January, everybody needs help recovering financially from the holidays. If you’re feeling like there’s a big hole in your pocket from all of the recent spending, you aren’t alone. Getting back into a routine and focusing on healthy spending habits can help you recover some and build back your savings. First, organize yourself and take a look at your overall spending for the season. Then, take that number and divide by however many months until next holidays, and start setting aside a little money each month. That way, the holidays won’t be such a hit to your bank account. Create a budget based on your monthly income and expenses, and try to stick to it as much as you can. Finally, start focusing on healthy money habits like cutting out extraneous expenses, eating at home more, and cutting out any subscriptions you don’t use. Hopefully, by preparing a little for next year, you’ll avoid getting behind with money when the holidays roll around again.

Dealing with Family Conflict Over the Holidays

Dealing with family conflict over the holidays is never fun. And with an election just barely over this year, things might be more intense than usual. If you anticipate that you might be dealing with some arguments or heated discussions with your family, prepare yourself mentally ahead of time. Try to avoid polarizing topics, and set boundaries about what you will and will not be discussing. Stay calm if things start to become combative by trying to regulate your tone and body language. Deep breathing or taking a short break can help you calm down when needed. Pivot the conversation to something less controversial, and have some topics in mind just in case. Finally, if you need to, walk away from a conflict. Or, if you feel that your family will not be respectful of your boundaries, it’s okay to set limits on how much time you spend with certain people. Taking care of your mental health and enjoying the holidays are the most important things.

Dealing with Family Conflict Over the Holidays: Keep the Peace

Avoid Polarizing Topics

Dealing with family conflict tends to become more of an issue if your family is prone to discussing polarizing topics. For example, things like parenting, politics, or religion. If you feel like your loved ones will probably want to discuss something like this with you, you can set a boundary early on. Simply say that you aren’t going to be engaging in political conversations. If they don’t respect that boundary, you can choose to walk away.

Stay Calm and Take Breaks

It’s also important to regulate your body when dealing with family conflict. Keeping your posture neutral can be helpful, so avoid standing with arms aggressively folded, pointing, or using dramatic hand motions. Try to keep your voice calm, even, and in a moderate volume. Even when you get angry. Often, the louder we are, the less people actually hear. Finally, try to practice deep breathing and relaxing your muscles if you are feeling tense to help calm your sympathetic nervous system down..

Pivot the Conversation

It’s always helpful to keep a few safe topics in your back pocket in case your family is intent on turning things into an argument. Come prepared with some things to talk about that don’t involve controversial topics. For example, plans for New Year’s, any upcoming trips, or how your children are doing in school. 

Walk Away

Finally, if you’re dealing with family conflict over the holidays, sometimes you just have to walk away. Especially if your loved ones aren’t being respectful of you or your boundaries. Often, people feel obligated to see family over the holidays, even to the detriment of their mental wellbeing. If you feel like you need to take some time apart from family, it’s okay to prioritize your mental health. You can always come back next year, or go for a visit another time.

Dealing with family conflict over the holidays is likely something that a lot of people are going to be experiencing in the coming weeks. Especially in the wake of an intense political situation in our country. If you suspect that your family will be trying to pull you into disagreements or political conversations that you don’t want to be having, it’s best to go into events with a game plan. You can set boundaries up front about topics you aren’t willing to engage in. Setting boundaries I doesn’t mean that you are trying to control other people’s behavior, it just means that you are deciding what you are and aren’t willing to engage with. Try to keep things neutral by paying attention to your body language, tone of voice, and breathing. If you feel like you are getting overheated, take a short break and practice deep breathing exercises to calm down. Come prepared with some topics to pivot to if things start to get controversial. And finally, don’t feel guilty about walking away from certain events, or avoiding them altogether. You can always reconnect with your family later, but if you need to take some space for your mental health, do it. You deserve to have the holiday season you want free from any conflict or awkward conversations.

Telltale Signs of a Cheating Spouse

While we’d all like to think that there are telltale signs of a cheating spouse, the truth is that you often have to look at the entire pattern of your partner’s behavior to see if the signs are pointing to an affair. There isn’t always one specific tell. Instead, you might notice a change in their demeanor, in your relationship, sex life, their appearance, schedule, and many other factors that can give you clues to look a little deeper. However, there are some warning signs that you should take seriously. For example, if they are suddenly becoming very secretive around devices and no longer giving you their passwords, it might be a red flag. Additionally, if you catch them in a lie multiple times, there is usually a reason for the deception. Finally, if there are unexplained expenses, it might be that they are spending money on somebody else. If you notice any of these behaviors, it’s worth digging a little deeper. You can choose to confront your spouse directly, or wait to see if other warning signs pop up.

Telltale Signs of a Cheating Spouse: What to Look Out For 

A Word of Warning

Even though the following behaviors are potential indicators of an affair, there are no truly telltale signs of a cheating spouse. Instead, you have to look at the overall pattern of their behavior. If things are going smoothly and then out of the blue you start noticing a lot of changes happening, it might be an indication of cheating. But it could also be an indication of other things like work stress. So before you go ringing divorce bells, it’s important to follow up your observations with a frank conversation with your partner to get to the bottom of the new behaviors.

Secrecy Around Devices

One of the potential telltale signs of a cheating spouse is a sudden secrecy around their devices. If you and your partner usually have an open-device relationship, but they suddenly are hiding their phone away or making sure you can’t see the screen, it could definitely be a red flag. Similarly, if they usually keep their phone unlocked but suddenly have a passcode that they don’t share with you, it might be a sign that they’re communicating with somebody they shouldn’t be.

You Catch Them in a Lie 

Another of the telltale signs of a cheating spouse is if you catch them in a lie. Especially if the lie involves where they are or who they’re with. Partners should be honest with one another, and unless it’s your birthday and they’re out buying a gift, there shouldn’t be a reason to lie about where you are to your spouse. If you catch them in a direct lie, it’s definitely worth following up with a conversation.

Unexplainable Expenses

Finally, unexplainable expenses can also sometimes be a warning sign of an affair. Often, when people are newly dating, or trying to woo somebody, they’ll spend money lavishly. It might be on things like jewelry, dinners, or gifts. But it could also be on things like hotel rooms. If you are finding that your finances are taking a sudden hit and you can’t find the explanation, it might be worth asking your spouse if there’s anything they need to come clean about.

While there are no specific telltale signs of a cheating spouse, there are some definite warning signs to look out for. However, it’s important to remember that no one specific item should make you convinced that they are cheating if it’s unusual behavior for them. There could always be a reasonable explanation for some of these things. However, if you are noticing a pattern of behaviors like these, it might be an indication that something is going on. For example, if you notice that they are suddenly secretive about their phone or laptop, when they used to be open and casual about it. Furthermore, if you catch them in a lie, it’s worth digging a little deeper. And finally, if there are a lot of unexplainable expenses and your partner doesn’t have a good explanation for where the money is going, it could be a warning sign of an affair. Hopefully, if you notice any of these indicators, you can have a conversation with your spouse and clear everything up. But it’s definitely worth having the talk to ensure that you aren’t being lied to.

Second Marriage: Tips For Success

Going into a second marriage after a divorce can be both exciting and scary. After all, with how many of these end in divorce, you don’t want a repeat of what happened last time. Therefore, there’s a few key things you’ll want to keep in mind…

Second Marriage: Tips For Success

Practice mutual respect

In a second marriage, it’s important that you and your partner respect each other. A lack of respect is a big reason why couples start to drift apart. If one spouse feels like the other doesn’t respect what they say or them in general, then it’ll quickly lead to tension.

Instead, both of you should be sure to respect what the other has to say. Encourage them to be honest and show them you appreciate them. A simple “thank you” will go a long way in making your partner feel like you respect them and value your marriage.

Create time for each other

It’s also important for those in a second marriage to spend time with one another. Now, there’s going to be times where you want to be alone or go be with friends. That’s totally normal, and an important part of a good relationship too. But, you also need to make time with your partner.

There’s a lot of ways you can spend this time together. For example, maybe you both like to spend time watching movies or T.V. at the end of the day. However, even simple things like going with them to the store can show them you enjoy being with them.

Talk about expectations

It’s a good idea in a second marriage to talk about expectations. Everyone has expectations, but sometimes, they can get out of hand. This is especially true after a divorce. You might not realize it, but your expectations could cause problems in the future.

If your expectations are too high, then you’ll constantly get disappointed when your spouse doesn’t reach them. To avoid this, talk to them about establishing realistic expectations. That way, you’ll both be on the same page about what your goals are for the marriage.