If you are trying to figure out a shared custody holiday schedule with your ex, it can be an emotional and confrontational process sometimes. Everybody has special traditions that they want to celebrate with their children when it comes to holidays. But when you are sharing custody, there will inevitably be some times when you have to be separated from your kids even though you don’t want to.
There are plenty of options you can take for fairly dividing holidays. Some parents choose to split the day up and have a custody switch during the day. Others divvy up holidays throughout the year based on each parent’s preferences. Others choose to switch off from year to year with their kids. However, even if you aren’t able to celebrate on the day with your kids, you can still have your own celebration with them, even if it’s a few days late. Your children won’t care what day it is, they’ll just be happy to be with you and creating special memories together.
Shared Custody Holiday Schedule: Figuring Out Logistics
Split the Day
One example of a shared custody holiday schedule involves splitting the actual day of important holidays. For example, you could celebrate a Thanksgiving lunch with your children and then drop them off at their other parent’s house for Thanksgiving dinner. Talk about a lot of turkey! This allows both parents to have some time with their kids on the holiday itself. The only drawback is that it can feel like a lot of shuffling around for children, and can be a little overwhelming for little ones.
Divvy Up Holidays
Another potential shared custody holiday schedule involves divvying up holidays throughout the year. This works well if parents each have separate holidays that they are particularly fond of. For example, if one parent is Jewish and the other Christian, it’s easier to work out who will have the children throughout December. If one parent really loves to celebrate Halloween and the other really loves Thanksgiving, you can divvy up those holidays fairly between you. This idea really only works when coparents are able to really compromise together and figure out a system that feels fair to everybody.
Switch Off Years
Others parents choose to celebrate holidays every other year with their children. For example, the children go with one parent this Christmas, and then next year, they switch to the other parent. You can still divvy up the holidays throughout the year so that each parent gets a few that are special to them. But every other year, there will be some sadness if it’s not your year with your children.
Celebrate Separately
Finally, even if you are dealing with some arguments or don’t really get your way when it comes to your shared custody holiday schedule, you can still make precious memories with your children. Your kids don’t really care what day an actual holiday falls on. So if it’s important to you to celebrate with them, just hold your own celebration when you get them back. Most likely, your kids will be more than happy to celebrate two holidays. Just make sure to remember that the important thing is that you create memories and traditions together, no matter if it’s the actual calendar day of a holiday or not.
Figuring out a shared custody holiday schedule can be a real headache for new coparents. Any sort of custody situation is bound to have some heated moments, but holidays are one that parents get particularly emotional about. And it makes sense because holidays are such an important part of our memories from childhood. You can opt to split up the day itself so that each parent has some time with their children on the actual holiday. However, this can be tiring for younger children, and it can make holidays seem rushed and frantic. You can also divvy up holidays that are of particular importance to each of you throughout the year if you’re able to compromise on things. You can also switch off every other year for holidays too.
It can be hard to be apart from your children, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t still celebrate with them when you have custody again. Even if you aren’t celebrating with your children on the actual day of the holiday, they won’t remember that in the future. All they’ll remember is how much fun you had together.