Common Divorce Reasons

People divorce for a wide variety of reasons. However, some reasons tend to be more common than others. These common divorce reasons can be indicators of when things are going south. Knowing these signs can help you realize when you might need to change course, or if it’s best to call things off…

Common Divorce Reasons

Infidelity

Infidelity is one of the most common divorce reasons. Cheating and affairs tend to be a breaking point for a lot of marriages. For many couples, this represents a violation of trust between each partner. Once this trust is violated, it’s hard for couples to reconcile and come back together.

The reasons behind why partners cheat aren’t always so clear-cut. Sometimes, it’s due to underlying issues in the relationship, especially in regards to intimacy. Other times, it could be due to pent up frustrations, or just when a partner gives into temptation. Ultimately, it’s up to you to determine if you can work things out with your spouse, or if you want to split.

Poor communication

Communication troubles also are one of the common divorce reasons. Good communication is an important foundation for any marriage. Couples who are able to talk to one another in a healthy and productive manner tend to work out their issues both quickly, and in a way that leaves both sides happy.

However, couples with poor communication tend to struggle. They end up in constant arguments, which just get worse and worse over time. Eventually, this leads to both partners becoming fed up with each other, and many will opt for divorce to prevent things from getting even worse.

Abuse

Abuse is one of the most unfortunate common divorce reasons. Marriage, and life itself is difficult, and sadly some people take out their frustrations out on their spouses. In these situations, divorce is a means for someone to get away from their abuser.

Abuse doesn’t have to be physical. In fact, it can also be emotional, or a combination of each. Either way, any kind of abuse is something which shouldn’t be tolerated. Remember that a person’s own personal safety should take priority in any kind of relationship.

Narcissistic Ex: How To Communicate

Figuring out how to talk to your ex as a co-parent can be pretty tough. This can only get harder if you’re dealing with a narcissistic ex. While it might feel impossible at first, there are ways you can make it a bit easier for yourself when you have to talk to them…

Narcissistic Ex: How To Communicate

Don’t take the bait

One of the trickiest parts of talking to a narcissistic ex is how they like to change the subject. Often times, they might try to steer the conversation towards themselves or what they’re doing, in order to show off. Or, they might make jabs at you to try and get under your skin.

When this happens, it’s important to not take the bait. They want to get you upset, and in turn make you lose focus of the conversation’s original goal. Do your best to ignore those comments and stick to what you need to discuss. If they refuse to focus, then disengage and tell them you’ll talk at a later time.

Stick to “yes” or “no” answers

If a narcissistic ex tries to ask you questions, especially over email or text, they tend to make them not as straightforward as they should. For instance, they might include some kind of backhanded comment or brag about what they’re doing. While you might feel the need to correct the record, the best response is to keep your answers brief.

Ignore all the stuff they included that isn’t relevant to what you have to do as a co-parent. Single out those questions, and make it clear you’re only replying to that part of the question. For example, if they ask if you can watch the kids, but try to insert a brag about themselves, just say “yes, I can watch the kids” and leave it at that.

Set your boundaries

A narcissist, especially a narcissistic ex, loves to poke and prod at your boundaries. They want to push your buttons, find out what you’re doing, and figure out a way to either put you down, or lift themselves up. That’s why it’s important to keep your boundaries firm. Don’t give them any room to work with, and if they don’t respect the boundaries, then you know your conversation isn’t worth continuing.

Divorce Therapy: How It May Help

Divorce is an extremely stressful event for both the people involved and their families. Due to this, it might not be a bad idea to consider divorce therapy. However, if you’ve never met with a therapist before, this can feel like a daunting task. Still, it might help you to know how exactly these professionals can help…

Divorce Therapy: How It May Help

Cope with emotions

Divorce is an emotional time, and sometimes those emotions can get overwhelming. This becomes very apparent if they’re negative emotions. Many times, these emotions can end up getting the better of people and negatively impact their divorce.

However, divorce therapy can help you cope with your emotions. A therapist can work with you to figure out where exactly these emotions are stemming from and what causes you to feel them. That way, you can work on strategies to keep the under control in a healthy and productive manner, and eventually work past them.

Help with the kids

Divorce therapy can also be helpful if you’re a parent. Divorce can have a pretty significant impact on your children. Due to this, many parents worry about what exactly they should or shouldn’t be doing, and what kinds of things they should look for in their children’s behavior.

A therapist can help you better understand what’s going through your kids’ heads. This is especially true if you meet up with a family therapist. These therapists help out all members of the family, and can have both you and your children work together to better understand how you each feel about what’s going on.

Build a plan for the future

One of the worst aspects of divorce is the uncertainty it brings. With the end of your marriage, the plans you used to have for the future are probably no longer possible. Many people get anxious when thinking about their new future, and are unsure of where exactly they should start to get things going again.

However, if you choose divorce therapy, then you can work with your therapist to build a new plan. The therapist can help you figure out what exactly you might be afraid of and how to get excited for the new opportunities in your life. That way, you can start to feel more confident about your life post-divorce.

Support Groups: What To Consider

The pain and loss that comes with divorce can be difficult to go through alone. Therefore, you’ll want to lean on your support system for help. One key part of this system are support groups. However, finding a group that works for you depends on a few factors…

Support Groups: What To Consider

What’s the focus?

Divorce support groups tend to have two main types of focus areas: informational and processing. Informational groups tend to spend time on learning tools and recovery. At these meetings, you’ll learn about different methods to help you adjust to your divorce, and make changes in your life.

However, processing groups are more focused on personal experiences. These are places where people can come and share their experiences with others who know how they feel. Furthermore, you can hear from others what helped them with recovery. You’ll want to figure out what kind of focus fits you the best.

How is the schedule?

You’ll also need to consider what kind of schedule these support groups have. Different groups will tend to have different kinds of schedules. Some might meet once a week, while others might meet on a more consistent basis. Plus, you’ll have to consider what days of the week a group might meet on.

Look at what your schedule looks like now, and see what kind of groups work with that. Don’t forget to consider the time duration as well. For instance maybe you’re only free at certain times each day. You won’t want to sign up for a group which could make you late for other things like work!

Is there an attendance policy?

Support groups are all dependent on those who show up to them. As a result, some groups might have stricter attendance policies than others. This usually is done to ensure that each meeting can be productive and worthwhile. After all, it isn’t fair to those who do come if not enough other people show up.

Still, you might need some flexibility. Maybe you have kids or other things which can impact your schedule. In these cases, most groups are understanding if you give them a heads-up in advance. However, it might be worth it to find one that is less strict if you know things might constantly come up. You can even look for groups which are online too.