Month: November 2022

Divvying Up Holidays with Shared Custody

Divvying up holidays with shared custody can be a source of a lot of frustration for many couples. However, as long as you begin planning things ahead of time, you can find a way to split things up so that it feels fair to everyone. Some couples choose to split the actual day of holidays while others choose to alternate different years with their children. And yet others decide to simply double up and celebrate with their kids whenever it’s convenient. The important thing is finding a solution that works for your family. Hopefully, you can all work together to make this holiday season the most memorable one yet.

Divvying Up Holidays with Shared Custody: Splitting Things Fairly

The Importance of Planning In Advance

Planning is the best way to begin divvying up holidays with shared custody. Don’t try to tackle this difficult negotiation when you’re already in the middle of a fight, or right before the holiday season. Instead, begin discussing things when you both are in a calm place. If certain holidays are important to your ex that you don’t care about and vice versa, make plans accordingly.

Sharing the Actual Day

When divvying up holidays with shared custody, some find it easiest to simply switch back and forth on the actual day of the holiday. For example, children might have a late Thanksgiving brunch at one house and then go to their other parents for Thanksgiving dinner. This is a solution that works well if you live close to each other.

Alternating Years

Other couples choose to alternate years when divvying up holidays with shared custody. This means that if you both want to spend Christmas with your children, that one year one parent gets to, and the next year you switch. If several holidays are important to both of you, you can split them evenly and then reverse them the next year.

Celebrating On Your Own Time

Finally, if you don’t want to worry about divvying up holidays with shared custody, you can always just celebrate on your own time. Children often don’t care about the calendar date that a holiday falls on. They’re more interested in traditions. So just move your holidays around so that they fit your schedule. For example, if you get your kids back on February 15 you can always still celebrate Valentine’s Day then.

Divvying up holidays with shared custody can create some frustration, but it doesn’t have to. Try to remember that holiday traditions are just as important to your ex as they are to you. You each want to spend special time with your children, so try to keep that in mind when discussing your plans. Figuring things out well in advance can save a lot of headaches and heartaches later on. Consider swapping custody on the day of the holiday so that kids get to spend part of the actual day with both of you. Or alternate years where you switch which parent gets the kids for bigger holidays. Or you might simply double up and let your children celebrate with both of you on your terms. The actual date of a holiday isn’t important, it’s the memories that your children will cherish.

Staying Neutral When Friends Divorce

Staying neutral when friends divorce can be tough, but if you’re friends with both husband and wife, it’s the only way to maintain your friendship with both. Try to set boundaries at the beginning about how involved you are comfortable being. Set expectations with them about wanting to stay neutral, and shut down trash-talking. Remember that you’re always getting one side of the story at a time, so take things with a grain of salt. And finally, remember to be a sounding board, but not a therapist. It’s not your job to fix their problems, but rather to be a support. Hopefully, they can have a reasonably amicable divorce and you’ll be able to maintain your friendship with both without having to pick sides.

Staying Neutral When Friends Divorce: Maintaining Friendships

Set Boundaries

When friends divorce, it can be helpful to set boundaries up front. Let them know that you want to be supportive, however, don’t let them take advantage of that. You cannot be fielding phone calls all day and night. It’s also important to remind them that you can’t be their mediator or go-between. That’s a job for a professional mediator or marriage counselor.

Set Expectations

It can be helpful to set expectations upfront when friends divorce. Let them know that you truly want to stay neutral and remain close to both of them. If that’s going to be a problem for either one, then you need to know at the start. Tell them you’re happy to be a sympathetic ear but that you don’t want to engage in trash-talking the ex.

A Grain of Salt

Try to remember to take everything with a grain of salt when friends divorce. While you might be hearing from both of them, you’re only ever getting one side at a time. Their version of the truth is always going to be different than their exes. Even if the facts are the same, each person might interpret things differently. So try to remember that no matter what you hear about either of your friends, it’s coming from a perspective that can’t be trusted.

Be A Sounding Board

Finally, when friends divorce, remember to be a sounding board and not a therapist. Let them tell you how they’re feeling, but try to avoid giving advice. You don’t want to look like you’re trying to affect how their divorce proceedings go. Instead, use neutral responses like ”I’m sorry you’re going through this.” Or ”that sounds like it would be really hard to deal with.” By staying neutral with your responses you can avoid seeming like you’re picking sides.

Staying neutral when friends divorce can often put you in a tricky position. But if you’re close with both parties, you’ll need to avoid giving advice or seeming like you’re picking sides. Set boundaries and expectations early on and let your friends know that it’s your goal to remain in both of their lives. Remember that you are a sounding board, and not a mediator or therapist. It’s not your job to try to fix their marital issues, and you’ll probably wind up regretting it if you try. Instead, try to keep your responses neutral and remember to take everything with a grain of salt. Hopefully, you can be a supportive friend without feeling the need to pick sides in their divorce.

Sleeping in Separate Rooms

Many couples find that sleeping in separate rooms, or “sleep divorce” is the secret to avoiding actual divorce. While some couples love being close together and snuggling all night, others struggle to find balance for their differing sleep habits. Not to mention the frustrations of dealing with a partner who snores or tosses in their sleep. There are many benefits to sleeping in different bedrooms that don’t spell the end of your marriage. It can strengthen it. You’ll both have more room, not to mention the ability to adjust your sleep settings. And you can sleep without interruptions from your partner. All of this can lead to an increase in intimacy. So before you judge a couple that sleeps in separate rooms, consider whether or not they’ve figured out the secret to a happier marriage.

Sleeping in Separate Rooms: The Secret to Marriage?

More Room

One of the many benefits of sleeping in separate rooms is that you each have more space to stretch out. While a king bed can feel quite large, when you split it between two people, each person gets roughly the same sleep area as a twin bed provides. If you are a sleeper that prefers to stretch out, sleeping alone will likely give you the best chance at a restful night.

Better Sleep

Another positive of sleeping in separate rooms is that you will be able to adjust things to your preference when it comes to rest. For example, you can keep the room as hot or cool as you like. And you can opt to have white noise or not. In addition, you can purchase a mattress that suits your body’s needs better. If you prefer a firm mattress, and your spouse needs a soft mattress, you can each get what you need to give yourself the best chance at sleep.

No Snoring

The most obvious positive of sleeping in separate rooms is the ability to avoid sleep interruptions from your spouse. The annoyance of struggling to sleep because of a partner’s snoring can end up affecting your overall relationship if it’s a regular occurrence. In addition, you no longer will have to fight for the blanket. Or deal with a partner that tosses and turns or talks in their sleep.

Intimacy

While there are many positives to sleeping in separate rooms, many couples fear that it will spell the end of their intimacy. However, it seems that the opposite might be true. Getting more rest can boost your libido and give you more energy for sex. In addition, you won’t be dealing with aggravations over snoring or cover-hogging night after night. Plus, it gives you a new setting for intimacy!

While some couples thrive on their snuggle time, others struggle to get restful sleep when sharing a bed. Sleeping in separate rooms might be the secret that can re-kindle some intimacy in your marriage. You’ll be able to stretch out more and create a sleeping environment that is perfect for your needs. And you won’t be woken up by snoring or kicking from your spouse. Getting plenty of rest, and avoiding these common marriage irritations can end up making you feel more romantic toward your partner. Who knew that having a “sleep divorce” could be the thing that makes your marriage even stronger?!

Re-Examining Child Support

Re-examining child support in North Carolina might seem easy at first glance, but it can be quite a complicated process. You have to file paperwork with the change and then have a judge sign off to adjust your payments. However, this is often easier said than done, so you’ll want to hire a family law attorney to help you. Child support is a part of your separation agreement, and you’ll need to show specific reasons for wanting to change it. There are some common reasons why parents might want to change their child support situation. However, often the parents cannot agree, so this is where the attorneys step in. Your lawyer will work on your behalf to get you the child support result that you want.

Re-Examining Child Support: Modifications

How Is Child Support Decided?

Child support is a part of your original separation agreement that you file when you are getting a divorce. When the court is calculating child support, they typically look at a few factors. For example, how many children you have, what the custody situation is, and the incomes of both parents. Then they’ll decide on a number that is fair for both parties.

Justification for Changes

Re-examining child support requires that one or more of the circumstances listed above significantly change. If your child support amount is part of your marital settlement agreement, the court can adjust it if it finds the amount is ”unreasonable.” However, if your child support is court-ordered, you’ll have to prove that there has been a substantial change in your circumstances.

Common Reasons for Changes

When re-examining child support, these ”substantial” changes might come from a few different scenarios. For example, if your child’s needs change and they require more money for medical care or school. Or if they begin receiving public assistance or the custody situation changes. If your income changes involuntarily, but your child’s monetary needs do not change, you might adjust child support. If you voluntarily reduce your income at the same time as your child’s needs also decreasing, it can also justify a support change.

Where to Start

There are many scenarios where re-examining child support might be necessary. However, it’s common for parents to disagree on the appropriate amount. Therefore, having an attorney by your side can be very helpful. They can help you prove that there’s a change in circumstances, help you justify the money you’re asking for, and help make sure that you win your case.

Re-examining child support is a simple matter of submitting a court order and having a judge sign off on it. However, in reality, getting both parties to agree to the change can be very difficult. And you must be able to prove that there is a reason for adjusting child support. There are several circumstances where this might come up, but often they involve big life changes like medical issues, relocation, or a change in jobs. No matter what, you’ll want to enlist the help of an experienced family law attorney. They can help you fight to have the child support changes that you deserve.