Month: August 2019

Stepparent Boundaries

Adjusting to being a stepparent can be a pretty tricky task. There’s a lot of new things you’ll have to consider when adjusting to your new role. One of the hardest things you may struggle with are stepparent boundaries. As it turns out, there are a few lines which you may not want to cross…

Stepparent Boundaries

Replacing a parent

One of the major stepparent boundaries that you want to respect is your stepchildren’s other parent. Sometimes, new stepparents want to help their stepchildren adjust by being more of a “parent” rather than stepparent. This might include things such as wanting to be called mom or dad, or trying to encourage them to do things with you instead of their other parent.

However, it is very important to respect that boundary. Understand that you aren’t their biological parent, but that isn’t a bad thing. Stepparents have their own special roles that they fit in which your new stepchildren will learn to accept, and appreciate, in time. You can still be a great parent, even if they don’t call you “mom” or “dad”.

Giving out discipline

Another important stepparent boundary to respect is with regards to discipline. If you discipline your own children, you might figure that you can apply that to your stepchildren. However, doing so could severely hurt your new relationship with them, and potentially damage it permanently.

Your stepchildren are still trying to figure out who you are and if you can get along. If you begin to punish them, then their opinion on you will sour and things will just get worse. Instead, try to offer a shoulder of support, and leave discipline to your partner. Don’t forget the complex emotions they’re dealing with, and how that could be behind their actions.

Tangling with the ex

Stepparent boundaries aren’t just limited to your stepchildren. They also apply to your partner’s ex as well. As their new spouse, it can feel a bit tempting to support them when they talk to their ex. However, doing so could upset the balance that your partner and their ex have created in regards to their co-parenting. While you can offer advice to your spouse in private, don’t get engaged in their talks directly.

Phone Apps: Use Them To Cope

Technology has become pretty ingrained in our day-to-day lives. Therefore, it probably isn’t too surprising to know that there’s phone apps out there for nearly anything. In fact, you can even use these apps to help you cope with your divorce. Certain apps can be especially useful depending on what you want to do…

Phone Apps: Use Them To Cope

Improve your health

There are a large variety of phone apps out there that can help you with improving your health. Many people experience some issues with both their mental and physical health after their divorce. Therefore, it makes sense that you might want to make some improvements. That’s where apps can come in handy.

For your mental health, there are apps which can help you with positive thinking and setting goals to achieve. There’s also journal apps, which let you write down your thoughts at any time. As for physical health, there’s plenty of apps which can track your exercise, calories, and sleep to help you find the perfect balance.

Get in touch with others

Another common issue people face after their divorce is feeling isolated. As a result, you might be interested in connecting with some new potential friends, or getting back in touch with old ones. Luckily, there’s plenty of apps which allow you to do both, and in different ways.

Of course, there’s social media, which can let you find some old friends and catch up with them. Still, making new friends on these apps can be tricky, due to the more “impersonal” nature of them. However, there are also neighborhood-focused apps. These apps only include those from the local area. That way, you can get in touch with people you can easily meet in real life.

Start dating

After you’ve given yourself some time to heal and adjust to your new post-divorce life, you might be curious about dating again. These days, there’s plenty of different kinds of dating phone apps which you can make use of. These apps tend to be specifically tailored to the type of person you want to meet.

Still, it’s important to be careful when using these kinds of apps. Scammers can be pretty common on them, as well as people who are less-than-honest about who they are. Always remember that your own safety is a priority. Be wary of those who claim they can’t meet in person, or ask for a lot of personal info.

Changing Jobs Post-Divorce

Divorce tends to b a time of self-reflection for many people. This is especially true when it comes to working. Some might consider getting a new job, where as others might consider changing jobs post-divorce. If you find yourself thinking about the later, there’s a few things you should evaluate before making a decision…

Changing Jobs Post-Divorce

Your stress levels

Divorce, understandably, is a pretty stressful event. Therefore, it’s no surprise that you’re probably looking to rid your life of excess stress. One of the areas many people look at are their jobs. Depending on their answers, it can help them decide on changing jobs post-divorce.

Think about how you feel when you’re working. Do you hate it, and dread having to even think about going into your shifts? Or, do you find yourself feeling pretty at-ease most of the time? If your job environment is too stressful, then it might be time to consider a change.

Financial situation

On top of stress, divorce can also cause you to spend quite a bit of money. Even after it’s over, you might have to spend on things like finding and moving to a new place to live. Plus, spousal and child support payments can also seriously change up your financial situation, and make you think about changing jobs post-divorce.

If you find yourself worried about money, it helps to first make a budget based on how much you make now, and your new costs. Are there any areas you can cut back on spending on to make sure you have money for the necessitates? Depending on how this budget looks, it can help you determine if a change is a good idea.

Quality of life

Remember that there’s more to a job than just the pay. There’s also other factors you have to consider. These quality of life factors can be very important, especially if your old schedule has changed due to your divorce. For instance, if you find yourself with custody of your kids, then you’ll have to consider how to balance a job with these new demands.

How well your job fits these changes can help you determine if changing jobs post-divorce is a good idea. Consider things like your work schedule. Is it flexible with your needs? Does your job also let you handle things from home on some days? Jobs which do can be much more appealing and handy than those that don’t.

Rebound Relationships

Trying to date again after your divorce can be very hard. After all, there’s no time table which tells you when it’s the right time to try again. However, trying again too quickly tends to end up making rebound relationships. These relationships are something you’ll want to avoid…

Rebound Relationships

What is a “rebound”?

Rebound relationships, like the name implies, are when you get into a relationship quickly after leaving your last one. Often times, these relationships usually form about a month or so since your last one. As a result, these relationships tend to not last very long.

Many times, people try to “rebound” with someone else who’s also coming off a break-up or divorce. However, this is mainly because they’re just looking for an emotional escape from the issues of their last one. While in the long run these relationships tend to not be harmful, they can stall your post-divorce recovery.

No need to rush

Despite how you might feel, there’s no need to rush into rebound relationships. Still, it can be hard to avoid them sometimes. After all, your thoughts and emotions probably aren’t in the best shape after your divorce. As a result, you can end up believing you’re in love with someone despite only knowing them for a short time.

That’s why it helps to just take some space away from the idea of dating for a while. Instead, spend this time doing some things for yourself. Start eating better, exercising, or pick up a new hobby. Right now, you need to get comfortable with yourself before thinking of dating again.

Learn from the past

Rebound relationships are formed out of the pain from the loss of your marriage. Still, that doesn’t mean you can’t turn that pain into something good. In fact, it’s a good idea to consider the lessons learned from your past relationship.

Think about the issues that you had with your last relationship. Then, think about how you can avoid them in your next ones. That way, you can actively avoid running into those issues again, and ensure your new relationships start out on the right foot.

Working Post-Divorce

Having to work while going through your divorce can be tricky enough. However, what if you’re looking to re-enter to workforce? Working post-divorce can seem like another difficult challenge. However, there are ways for you to find your fit…

Working Post-Divorce

Find your interests

The first part of working post-divorce is figuring out your interests. It’s no surprise that people tend to enjoy working jobs that line up with their interests. As a result, it helps to figure out what your interests are before job hunting. A career counselor can be helpful in showing you what fields to consider.

Also, if you were working before your divorce, you don’t have to rush right back into your old job. This is the perfect time to really think about what you want to truly be doing. It might be time to look for something new, for both the sake of your financials and mental health. Just don’t leave your job until you have something else secured!

Look all around

Working post-divorce means being aware of your options. As a result, it helps to look around for any recent open job positions near you. The easiest way to do this is by using online job boards. With how many there are, you have a lot of places to check to see if there’s something that matches what you’re looking for.

Still, even with the convenience of the internet, in-person applications are a good option as well. In fact, they can even be preferable, as they can help you make a good first impression. Therefore, don’t be afraid to pay an in-person visit! Even if they aren’t hiring now, they may get in touch when they are.

Consider additional education

A lot of well-paying jobs these days require some form of higher education. Therefore, if you’re interested in working post-divorce, it’s not a bad idea to get some extra education. It’s not uncommon to see more older adults on college campuses, who are in the process of pursuing their degrees.

Plus, the nice thing is that you don’t have to go to a university to get more education. Many community colleges offer courses at similar levels, but for much less. You can even find out about taking online classes, making it so that getting more education doesn’t get in the way of your schedule.