When Pup Parents Divorce: Who Takes Fido?

More and more younger couples are holding off on having kids, even after they get married. Whether it due to age, aspirations, financial state— many couples are playing the waiting game a bit longer than they used to. There’s no harm or shame in it, and for most— it’s a well thought out decision. However, in holding off on kids, many couples will get a dog or two. Therefore, if they find themselves in a divorce situation, there’s one vital question: who takes the dog when his pup parents divorce?

When Pup Parents Divorce: Who Takes Fido?

Unfortunately, even though we see them as our babies, the court still considers them property. So, when it comes to a divorce, there’s no custody court for your pup. Instead, the two of you will have to find a means of splitting time, or one of you will have to split ways.

The Animal Legal Defense Fund

This group is working to try and alter that law just a bit. They know, just like any pet owner, that they are more than property. therefore, they aim for the courts to take into consideration who provides primary care of the animal. Who take pup parents divorce s them to the vet, buys the food, socializes them, grooms them, and etc. Basically, which of the two of you bears the largest weight. If the ALDF could swing it, a dog would qualify as a separate entity— almost like a child, instead of, say, a painting or a motorcycle.

What can we do, as dog owners, to make sure we reach a solid agreement?

I’m sure you, along with your spouse, have heard the quote: if you want something done right, do it yourself. So, when pup parents divorce, the two of you should consider crafting your agreement yourself. Maybe one of you is fully willing to part ways with the dog, or maybe neither of you are. So, you have to sit down together, as adults, and reach an agreement that suits you both. If need be, treat it like a custody agreement. Look up common paths for custody, and mirror it in a way that benefits your situation. Maybe parent 1 will take majority of time, but parent 2 gets a week out of ever month. Find something that works for you, by you. As of now, the court will be of no help when it comes to your pups.

Successful Divorce: Successfully Separating Your Heart and Mind

There’s no easy path to take emotionally during a divorce. Sure, you have options when it comes to mediation, collaboration, and custody. But when it comes to your heart? There’s not too much bargaining to be done there. So, we’re going to help. Getting a successful divorce doesn’t just mean hitting all the marks on proceedings. Instead, it means healing emotionally, getting things done, and coming out on the other side of this just a little bit lighter. A divorce will undoubtedly be tough, but you can make the better of it in a few ways…

Successful Divorce: Successfully Separating Your Heart and Mind

Assess

Before you start healing emotionally, you need to assess the situation. What do you want from your divorce? Both emotionally, and in terms of finances and assets. You’ll need to tackle these two things in tandem, but separately. Letting your emotions cloud the proceedings, and let you make spiteful decisions— can only make matters worse, and prolong the process.

Gather Information

Next up, gather all of your information. Documents, statements, make lists of things you need and things you can part with. Getting this information together as quickly as possible, means you can focus on it less. Pull it all together, organize it, file it, and then get back to you. The sooner you handle the technical stuff, the sooner you can stop focusing on it.

Educate Yourself

The more you know, the more your mind can be at ease. Well, at least when it comes to divorce. For starters, become familiar with the process of divorce. What steps do you have to take first? Where can an attorney take over? And what do I need to watch out for and avoid? Once you have an attorney, they will explain things in further detail, but it’s good to have a foundation on your own. Then, you can ask more informed questions and get through the process more quickly because you took the time to do the research.

Pick Your Team

Decide what and who you need. Whether that be a therapist, a financial advisor, a family specialist, a custody lawyer… decide what you need and begin to put it together. You can address both physical and psychological needs at the same time here. Discover who you need in your corner on this, and rally those troops. Having every resource, even family, set in stone can really ease your mind.

Form A Plan

Think over logistics, form a plan, write things down. If you have questions? Ask them. That’s what your attorney is for, among other things. Understand that you don’t have to go at this alone, and the more planning you do— the less you have to worry about as it gets rolling. A successful divorce requires planning, and adaptability. We wish you luck as you move forward, offer our condolences at this difficult time, and offer our services if you might need them.

How-To Keep Spending Small in Your Divorce: Save Money, Time, and Heartache with These Few Steps

There’s no denying that a divorce is quite costly to both parties involved. So, what can we do to keep spending small when it comes to our divorce? If you can find a way to save your funds, divorce each other peacefully, and keep that bad taste out of your mouth— why not do so? It may sound idealistic on our end, but it is possible to make it through a divorce without your blood pressure going through the roof. With hard work, patience, and collaboration, you might just find that you two went through a model divorce…

How-To Keep Spending Small in Your Divorce: Save Money, Time, and Heartache with These Few Steps

Set a timeline, and commit to it

A divorce is all about paperwork and deadlines. From figuring out child support, splitting assets, selling your family home, and closing up shop— it can take a while to work through. So, missing a deadline can make it take even longer. You two set a meeting? Stick to it, don’t put it off for any reason. Ultimately, that attorney isn’t there on his own free will— their time costs money. Be smart, efficient, reasonable, and timely in hitting your marks and providing any materials.

Keep it business-like and efficient

If you can check your emotions at the door, you’ll be sure to keep spending small, or at least smaller than they might have been. Sometimes, the way that we feel tends to influence our decision making. Maybe you noticed that your soon-to-be-ex has been going out with the boys, and now you’re angry so you want to go for more. Making changes to the agreement midway through, especially out of anger, can be counterproductive. Bringing those emotions into the mix is bad news, and can inevitably add to further costs. Do yourself a favor and save money by saving time.

Be flexible with one another

Have expectations and wants when it comes to assets and splitting the load. But, be realistic and flexible about it. Consider making a list; a list of what is a necessity to you, and the things you’d like to have— but can give on. Consider that even the things you feel are a necessity, aren’t guaranteed, and the more time you spend worrying over those things and not giving on them— the more money you spend. Who knows, by the end of this whole thing (if you do it right) you might be able to replace what you gave up on.

How-to Avoid Isolating Yourself Post-Divorce

Recovering after a divorce can be very difficult. You’ve spent your past few months, or year, tearing your life up. All in all, that can make it pretty easy to fall into a slump. People process grief and loss differently, and there’s no one way that people cope. But one way that tends to show up quite often, is by isolating yourself. As we’ve said, it’s easy to fall into a slump and, in turn, separate yourself from friends and family who are still here for you. Recovery is difficult, but it’s even more difficult when you go at it alone. Those connections you had, are still there post-divorce. So, we’ve put together a list for you; a list of way to avoid isolating yourself in tough times…

How-to Avoid Isolating Yourself Post-Divorce

Maintain Close Relationships

For the most part, you might be doing the exact opposite of this because it’s easier. The people close to you want to know how you’re doing, they’ll want to rehash— make sure you’re okay. But, you might want to do the exact opposite of that. So, set some ground rules. Ultimately, these people care about you and want to help. So, tell them what they can do to help you. They’re here to do what’s best for you. Sometimes, that just needs a little bit of direction.

Be Careful Who You Confide In

On the flip side, maybe sharing is just what you need to do to get by. Just make sure you’re doing this in the right way, and with the right people. Venting on social media might feel like a good idea at the time. But, by putting your story and your feelings out into the world, you give people a chance to inject their own views, opinions, and unsolicited advice. Everyone has their own view, and when you’re going through a divorce, you might need those views. So, do what you see fit.

However, remember that what you put out to the public— is subject to all of the public. While you and your former spouse are no longer on good terms, maybe you still care about his family. So, consider that what you post might make it’s way to them as well.

Isolating yourself is the easiest option…

…but that doesn’t make it the best, or even a good option. By having a strong support group, you’ll be able to work through the emotional process of divorce. But in order to do that, you need to maintain healthful connections, and ask for what you need.

While it may feel like you don’t have the energy to invest in other relationships, they are still important, even if your marriage didn’t work out. Avoid isolating yourself because it is not your best option by any means. Instead, surround yourself with good people, good things, and start to re-build. You have a lot of good things ahead of you…

How-To Ruin Custody Battles: What Actions Blow My Chances?

Custody battles can undoubtedly get quite ugly. There are mixed feelings, different goals from each parent, and a lot of different emotions stoking the fire. As your spouse and you both put up a fight to achieve your goal, there might come attacks; attacks on character, actions, choices you’ve made… So, you have to choose what route you want to take moving forward. What do you want for your family? There are plenty of ways to ruin custody battles, and put yourself at risk of losing it all. So, what should I avoid?

How-To Ruin Custody Battles: What Actions Blow Your Chances?

Arriving late to pick ups/ visits

One likely way to show a court that you lack dedication to the cause, is being late for pickup and drop-off. Oftentimes, these arrangements are either between the two of you, or the two of you ,and the court. Either way, being late for something you agreed upon can show the judge that you don’t make this current custody arrangement a priority. Not to mention, it shows irresponsibility and a lack of commitment to your child.

So take scheduled visits as a chance to prove that you are reliable and responsible.

Denying suggestions or orders

If a judge orders you to take parenting classes, go to therapy, or seek counseling to better your role as a parent— do it. The court is giving you a chance at redemption; a chance to right your wrongs. You’ll want to take that chance, show graciousness, and stay the path. This can show that you are willing to do what’s necessary to see your children. Also, it ensures the court that you are seeking the help you need to become the best parent possible.

Using visits or swap times as a mediation tool

Maybe you feel that some aspect of the agreement is not up to par anymore. Or, maybe, you feel that there should be a renegotiation on child support. One way to ruin custody battles? Using the precious time you have with your child, to negotiate it. Or even, if you use those few moments of swap time to try and make a plea. Ultimately, it shows that the child is not at the forefront of your mind, and that they have ulterior motives versus doing well for the right reasons. If you want to renegotiate child support, set a time with your former spouse to discuss it. Or, reach out to your lawyer. Your time with your kids should be exactly that— nothing more, nothing less.

Drug or alcohol abuse

Lastly, and most obviously, is abusing drugs or alcohol. In the event that the court finds proof that you’re using drugs or alcohol, your visitations can go right out the window. In short, when you’re trying to win custody of any sort, you want to show stability, and good decision making abilities. Therefore, it’s best to avoid anything that may indicate that you have a problem. You have to think of any way you act in public, as a chance to ruin or help your custody agreement.

If you are serious about your custody case, you want to avoid any of these actions, as they often bring harm to custody battles. Being that your ex may be looking for any way to attack your character and take custody, you must keep your actions clean and respectable.