Parenting as a team after divorce can be tricky. You have unresolved feelings, bad memories, and often, the only point of contact is the child. But, what you might not realize is that treating your parenting situation as a team effort can have a greater, and less stressful, outcome for every party involved. While it might seem tough, and it can be; learning to treat each other as co-parents instead of exes will create a more healthful environment. Team parenting is no easy feat, but with time, and a bit of patience— you’ll be ready to become the best divorced parents on the block. So, let’s get to work.
Team parenting: Treating Each other as Parents vs. Exes
We know it’s tough
Co-parenting, or team parenting as we like to call it, is pretty tricky. Especially in the beginning, there are a lot of other emotions that come along with it. Being a good co-parent shortly after a divorce has a lot of different components. You have to put your own feelings aside to benefit your children. While that is the job when it comes to parenting, that doesn’t mean it isn’t challenging.
But, it’s even more rewarding
Where there is challenge, there is the potential for triumph. There might be growing pains, but finding your groove and treating each other as parents— and with respect, has a lot of potential for upside. You’re teaching your kids proper problem solving, how to respect those around you, and how to adapt to change. You might feel as if you’re failing sometimes, but you’re not! These adjustments take time, and a lot of effort. Cut yourself some slack.
You’re teaching your children how healthy divorce can be
A divorce doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Marriage is great, and no one is saying that the system is doomed. But, one day your children will become adults, and it’s healthy for them to understand that no one or thing is perfect. Marriage is fantastic, but in some cases, divorce can be too. Ask yourself this: would you rather your children use an unhappy marriage as the basis for their understanding of it? Or, would you rather let them witness a divorce that 1) makes both of the parents more happy, and 2) goes down in a respectable manner? Divorce will not ruin your children’s lives. If anything, how you handle it could be a really healthy learning experience for them.